Of Plates and People

Lately, I’ve been thinking about plates...

Not the ceramic kind, though, I mean, they’re beautiful too. Especially the little cracks and glazes that shimmer under soft light. But I’ve been thinking more about the metaphorical ones. The kinds we all carry around without saying much. Piled high with work and worry, grief and guilt, joy and jellybeans.

Everyone’s got a full plate. Some are spilling over. Some are chipped at the edges, but still holding on.

I was in a situation one day when this thought hit me (as most good thoughts do at entirely mundane times): Everyone's plate is full. Their own, and sometimes, others'. You might be on someone's plate—don’t become so heavy that there’s no room left for anything else, or worse, the plate topples. Even if they’re sitting on your plate, make sure they do not take over the whole space.

It’s been rattling around in my head since.

I think it’s because I’ve been both. The one trying to keep everything balanced. And the one who accidentally made someone else's balancing act harder.

And it’s not always obvious when that happens. We’re all just trying to get through the day, right? We reach out, we lean in, we ask for space, or we don’t—and sometimes it’s all too much for someone who’s already carrying plenty.

We shouldn't shrink ourselves. Or pretend we’re fine when we’re not. But maybe… just be a little more aware of the weight we bring. Ours, theirs, the kind no one really talks about until it breaks something.

Sometimes being kind is just asking, “How are you doing?” and actually listening to the answer. Or showing up when you’re not quite okay yourself, but still trying. Sometimes it’s just being a soft place to land. Sometimes it’s saying, “I can’t carry this today,” and letting that be enough.

I don’t have a big conclusion. Just this slow realisation that being human with other humans is tricky. And maybe all we can do is try not to tip the plates we sit on.

Maybe the goal is to be a slice of lemon. Or a dollop of cream. Something that doesn’t weigh too much, but adds a bit of brightness to the mix.